Making Decisions
Sometimes, it's all about the decision. If you are like me, you find it difficult to make a decision when you know it is going to be permanent. I mean, who wants to screw everything up? Usually, it all starts with a rash decision, an event that begins innocently enough but leads to a choice that is irreversible. For example . . .
I got really angry when the school system decided to take away my one and only planning period and add an additional subject area to my workload. I mean, come on people, when would I have time to plan? They said that I could plan before and after school. I've got news for them, the PE teacher can plan before and after school and he still gets a planning period. And really, what the heck does he have to plan anyway?
So of course, in my angered state, I began looking for another job. Not just any job though, a teaching job, and a good one, one that I would want. I set my sights on a local posh private school, a mere 2 miles from my house. It seems they had an opening, so I sent my resume with a nice little cover letter.
They didn't respond. kdsfljfdskldjakghdkj I gave up. I figured I would make things work next year. I love my students. I love what I do. I would figure out how to survive without the planning period.
The private school called. They were interested in me, would I come in for an interview? Heck, yeah! The interview went well. It was a lengthy process that went on for several hours over two days and culminated with a meeting with the headmaster. I even had to teach a class for them. On the day before summer vacation no less. (Now I know what you are thinking. You're thinking, "She must've wanted that job really badly to do that.")
The upshot of all this is that they offered me a job. The pay was a little more than I am making now and they are so happy to have me joining them. Now this is where is gets ugly, like I warned you.
I'm having second thoughts. I got the contract in the mail yesterday, and all I can do is stare at it. I know that I'm supposed to sign it, but I just can't bring myself to do it yet.
This is one of those irreversible decisions. Of course, it's not like I haven't already broken the news to my old boss, who was a tad pissed to say the least. So could I even keep my old job if I wanted to? Why, oh, why, do I get myself into these messes?
1 Comments:
"Why, oh why do I get myself into these messes?"---- Because you have a hot streak. Your passions sometimes rule. It's a GOOD thing. You're volcanic; the heat of your feelings is from deep down...when something creates a fissure the steam and the lava flow....
The second guessing is painful, but you don't have to agonize alone. When the contract just can't get signed find someone. Tell them why that damned piece of paper just won't cooperate.
And go with your passion again...if it feels that wrong don't do it.
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