a change o f heart
I hate it when I am indecisive. I hate it when I second guess myself and have a change of heart. Most if all, I hate it when I just plain can't make up my mind. Sometimes it makes me wonder what's wrong with myself.
I've been feeling heartsick about my decision to leave public school. I think about it and realize that I really did love what I was doing and will miss it terribly next year. I even had a chance to have my job back, since they approved a second position. But I already signed a contract and the new school says I'm bound by it and that they are going to insist that I hold to it. So now I am stuck with no options but to take on the new position and make the best of it.
What really bothers me here is the fact that I had this change of heart. I mean, why can't I ever make a decision and just stick to it? Why is there always the second guessing, the questioning of my motives. Why is there always so much REGRET?
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